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If there's anything you can count on from me, it's that I'm universally unreliable when it comes to my activity on here and I also have a hard time letting go of old ideas that are of no more use to me. We're going to talk about the latter this fine almost-witching hour.
I won't pretend that I don't recycle a lot of ideas that I'm particularly attracted to. My lack of being able to hold my attention span on a project for very long is well known to me. This ends up with what I have going on currently -- a lot of characters with overlapping traits and concepts. They're pretty distinct in my own head, because I have all of their everything figured out in my mind, but from an outside perspective I can see where the repetitiveness comes in.
But aside from ideas going stale as they're stretched across many lores, it's also causing me the headache of having to sort through all of this shit. And when it comes to new content I tend to struggle, because I clearly find it difficult to move forward...and, to be honest, there's only so many names in the world I like. xD;
Summarised, I really need to condense everything. I need to cut the dead weight and discard old projects I won't go back to. Let's be honest, a lot of my older stuff was driven by how I felt in those moments and were outlets for emotions and situations I feel differently about now. And this makes sense -- it really does, to me at least. It's just a matter of letting go to that time in my life, which means more to me than it ever will to anyone else. In a lot personal ways, I really need something like this.
I guess I'm just struggling with how to do this without erasing it all from existence. It's foolish to attempt to wash it all out; it doesn't work that way. I just don't know how to keep it without it holding me back. I'm working on it. I'll have to write it out somewhere, make a few new folders to hold it somewhere safe.
I don't know why I wrote this, or why I put it here, but whatever. I don't need a reason, I guess. Which is another thing you can rely on from me; refusing to act without perceivable reason. Yet another habit I need to get rid of, because it holds me back from so much. I can think myself out of more things that I can think myself into, and I've decided I dislike that. I need to plunge into more things, and do it more completely. I have to stop being so afraid of everything...
I won't pretend that I don't recycle a lot of ideas that I'm particularly attracted to. My lack of being able to hold my attention span on a project for very long is well known to me. This ends up with what I have going on currently -- a lot of characters with overlapping traits and concepts. They're pretty distinct in my own head, because I have all of their everything figured out in my mind, but from an outside perspective I can see where the repetitiveness comes in.
But aside from ideas going stale as they're stretched across many lores, it's also causing me the headache of having to sort through all of this shit. And when it comes to new content I tend to struggle, because I clearly find it difficult to move forward...and, to be honest, there's only so many names in the world I like. xD;
Summarised, I really need to condense everything. I need to cut the dead weight and discard old projects I won't go back to. Let's be honest, a lot of my older stuff was driven by how I felt in those moments and were outlets for emotions and situations I feel differently about now. And this makes sense -- it really does, to me at least. It's just a matter of letting go to that time in my life, which means more to me than it ever will to anyone else. In a lot personal ways, I really need something like this.
I guess I'm just struggling with how to do this without erasing it all from existence. It's foolish to attempt to wash it all out; it doesn't work that way. I just don't know how to keep it without it holding me back. I'm working on it. I'll have to write it out somewhere, make a few new folders to hold it somewhere safe.
I don't know why I wrote this, or why I put it here, but whatever. I don't need a reason, I guess. Which is another thing you can rely on from me; refusing to act without perceivable reason. Yet another habit I need to get rid of, because it holds me back from so much. I can think myself out of more things that I can think myself into, and I've decided I dislike that. I need to plunge into more things, and do it more completely. I have to stop being so afraid of everything...
Speed Paint: Anika's DbD Attire
This journal entry is precisely a week-shy of a year later after my last. ;) A lot has changed in that time, most of it has already been spoken of. Interestingly, almost all of it was according to plan. I'm not here to talk about any of that though.
It's been so very long since I last attempted a speed painting video, and a lot of stuff happened in the creation of this one to try and stop me, but I pulled through. Armed with foresight for the next time - to not make the same mistakes - I present to you a thing I did in March, lol. I lost the nerve to turn it into a video to post until recently. I really do enjoy the final outcome, but
To-Do Master List
Time Sensitive
2 Year-Anniversary 11 Years of DeviantArt
Commissions/Gifts/Tradesoshirockingham (https://www.deviantart.com/oshirockingham) Belated Birthday Gift
Count the Magpies pt. 3
Priority Personal Junk
Anika [DbD] Totem Cleansing
Calling Down the Moon
I'll Take the Stars From Your Eyes
Luminescent Choir
The Magpie's WifeThe Humble Ring
Courtship
Sienestäjät
Kärsimystä/Piina
OC Reference SheetsAnika Jensen
Anika Wardrobe 2/6
Magda Lis
Višnja Lusk
Shit to Eventually DoRandomSophie (Cry of Fear)
Still Hasn't Starved
Memesn/a
Just A Quick Update!
I have a few things to say to those who are keeping up here. P: I know I still owe some things, and for taking so long I apologise like crazy. I have a large amount of stress going on in my life lately and, as usual, it seeps into everything else when there is too much of it for me to handle. I've been really inactive art-wise, I can't bring myself to get to work on anything and when I do it doesn't work out and I get frustrated. I guess it's just something I have to do; take breaks like this when stress builds up.
Thanks to a lot of factors with my state (such as the recent raise in minimum wage by New Year), my workplace has severely c
My New Wacom Cintiq
Aaaahhhhh!!! I'm so happy, it's heeeere! <3 It showed up later last night (I stayed up later than I would have normally so I'd get it XD), so I haven't had a chance to fully explore it, but I'm looking forward to it~ It's so beautifuuulll ;3;
I cleaned off my desk, wiped it down, and had to do a loooot of rearranging to fit it. xD My desk isn't as big as it ideally could be, but look how nice it is~! Probably the cleanest this damn desk has been in months. ;P
Yesterday was a good day. <3 Spent it mostly sketching in my sketchbook and chatting. It's a nice improvement from the day before when I had a pretty bad breakdown. :/ I'
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Sometimes, venting is just plain necessary. If it means anything to you, I know what it's like to be unable to move forward with an idea. It... sucks.