If there's anything you can count on from me, it's that I'm universally unreliable when it comes to my activity on here and I also have a hard time letting go of old ideas that are of no more use to me. We're going to talk about the latter this fine almost-witching hour.
I won't pretend that I don't recycle a lot of ideas that I'm particularly attracted to. My lack of being able to hold my attention span on a project for very long is well known to me. This ends up with what I have going on currently -- a lot of characters with overlapping traits and concepts. They're pretty distinct in my own head, because I have all of their everything figured out in my mind, but from an outside perspective I can see where the repetitiveness comes in.
But aside from ideas going stale as they're stretched across many lores, it's also causing me the headache of having to sort through all of this shit. And when it comes to new content I tend to struggle, because I clearly find it difficult to move forward...and, to be honest, there's only so many names in the world I like. xD;
Summarised, I really need to condense everything. I need to cut the dead weight and discard old projects I won't go back to. Let's be honest, a lot of my older stuff was driven by how I felt in those moments and were outlets for emotions and situations I feel differently about now. And this makes sense -- it really does, to me at least. It's just a matter of letting go to that time in my life, which means more to me than it ever will to anyone else. In a lot personal ways, I really need something like this.
I guess I'm just struggling with how to do this without erasing it all from existence. It's foolish to attempt to wash it all out; it doesn't work that way. I just don't know how to keep it without it holding me back. I'm working on it. I'll have to write it out somewhere, make a few new folders to hold it somewhere safe.
I don't know why I wrote this, or why I put it here, but whatever. I don't need a reason, I guess. Which is another thing you can rely on from me; refusing to act without perceivable reason. Yet another habit I need to get rid of, because it holds me back from so much. I can think myself out of more things that I can think myself into, and I've decided I dislike that. I need to plunge into more things, and do it more completely. I have to stop being so afraid of everything...
Listening to: It's the Only One You've Got; 3 Doors Down
Reading: Death Masks; Jim Butcher